Disclaimer: This post is for the ladies. So, gentlemen, the few of you that may read this blog, you are more than welcome to read the following post. However, if you do venture on, you are silently agreeing not to make any snide comments or use the following information against any female you know. The end.
I cut all of my hair off. Go google Carey Mulligan, and find her super-short blonde pixie, and that is pretty much what my hair looks like. Except redder.
And I must say, it is liberating. My hair had become this evil, confidence-sucking drag on my life, and it just had to go.
If I may be vulnerable and honest for a moment, this goes deeper than just a simple haircut. Ladies, I don’t think I’m alone in this- it seems to me that no matter how hard we want to think otherwise, no matter how much we pretend we are above it, no matter how much we hide it from others (and ourselves), how we look matters to us. Not every day, and maybe not in an I’m-the-ugliest-woman-to-ever-walk-the-planet way, but there are days, seasons, where how we look can really bring us down. We are all socialized to believe that how look is a reflection of who we are; sometimes that reflection is frighteningly ordinary, so what does that mean about who we are as women?
Make sure you hear me on this: I am not writing a post to say that how you look doesn’t matter. I AM NOT WRITING A POST TO SAY THAT HOW YOU LOOK DOESN’T MATTER. Let’s all be real and accept that our looks matter, at least to ourselves, so that we can stop beating ourselves up for caring so much and playing mind games with ourselves that make us miserable.
What I am here to say is that you are not ordinary. YOU ARE NOT ORDINARY. Do not let that reflection in the mirror tell you otherwise.
Until a few days ago, I was feeling very, very ordinary. Plain Jane, to be exact. Every day I put my hair up in a ponytail and told myself I was plain. Plain Jane. Nothing special. Ordinary.
And then a few days ago, I looked in the mirror and had had enough.
I am not ordinary.
I am not Plain Jane.
And I was tired of looking in the mirror and thinking I was so. I was exhausted from the daily routine of convincing myself that I shouldn’t care what I look like and stamping down the side of me that felt like my outside did not reflect what was inside. By 2pm that day, I had cut off my hair, and with it the lies that were dragging me down.
Moral of the story: You are not plain, and you don’t have to feel plain. Don’t get sucked into thinking you are a vain person for wanting to look the way that makes you feel the most confident. In fact, I would say that you are less vain in doing so, because when you feel good about yourself, you don’t have all of those little (or big) insecurities to worry about, giving you brain space to think about other people and greater things.
I don’t know what it is that makes you feel plain and ordinary. Maybe you don’t either. Whatever it is, dear ladies, stop stop STOP looking in the mirror and calling yourself plain and ordinary. Today. It has to start with you, inside your own head, making a conscious decision to look at yourself differently. And then go do something that makes you feel good about yourself- go find a hot red dress on sale, cut all your hair off, paint your toenails, make a plan to finally lose that last five pounds.
You’re worth it, I promise.