On being okay with it.

Happy moving-but-not-so-much-anymore day.

Good news: We aren’t houseless or homeless yet. Our landlord, out of the grace and mercy of his heart (also because of the torrential rainfall that has hit Southwest Missouri about a month later than normal and is making moving (or traveling anywhere, actually) quite complicated), is letting us stay in our rental house until May 28th. While living in our mostly packed up house for another two weeks may be a bit challenging, considering all of our kitchen supplies are neatly packed and conveniently placed at the bottom of a tall pile of boxes, I am thankful not to be houseless or homeless or have to move twice in one month.

Bad news: We don’t know if we will close on the new house…. ever. The owners have until Thursday to get the title issue cleared up, and after that  its see-ya, suckers, and we find a new rental. Bummer.

Despite the disappointment and the fact that this distinctly awful week probably ranks in the top 5 worst experiences I’ve ever gone through (along with have a flesh-eating bacteria in my eye my senior year and the summer from hell as a service project intern), oddly enough, I’m okay with it. Yesterday morning I came to a realization: there is absolutely nothing I can do to manhandle the situation and I can’t pull out my crystal ball to see into the future (it’s packed up with the kitchen supplies), so I might as well be okay with the not knowing, with the not getting my heart set on one outcome or the other, with the trusting that God wouldn’t arbitrarily take away our little dream of being good home owners and making Dave Ramsey proud.

So, as moving day comes and goes, I feel remarkably calm and dry-eyed. Starting to look for just-in-case rental houses doesn’t give me a panic attack. Finishing my last assignment of the semester on the floor surrounded by boxes doesn’t make the fact that I am still writing papers in the middle of May any worse. Even the fact that God might not explain to us right now why in the world this is happening isn’t cause for concern. 

So, today, I’m okay with it. Just don’t ask me on Thursday.