I should never, ever begin to think that my life is boring and uneventful, because I always end up proving myself wrong.
It was Thursday evening when it happened. I finished my last final by 10:30am and then spent the entirety of the afternoon writing a support letter and saying goodbye to Brigette for the last time before she left for Japan. I was mentally and emotionally spent and needed a mindless activity to pass the hour or two I still had until John Mark came home from work.
So I painted my toenails. And washed the dishes. And played with Jack. And then I got the bright idea to wax my eyebrows.
(You are already thinking that this can’t be good…)
I watched Brigette, my maid of honor and personal stylist, wax my eyebrows before my wedding in May, so I thought I could just replicate the process in the mirror myself. While I still had the leftover wax and paper strips from the May adventure, unfortunately, I didn’t have the heating instructions for the wax. But, really, how hard can it be to heat cosmetic wax in the microwave?
Harder than it looks, let me tell you. I don’t even remember how long I put the wax in for; I meant to watch it and test it every 15 seconds or so, but I got distracted and forgot about it. When I pulled it out, it was was more liquid than solid AND the once sturdy blue plastic container was soft and starting to lose its shape.
No worries, thought I. Once the wax cools a bit, it will work just fine. So, with a pair of oven mitts I carried the near-boiling wax in the sagging blue plastic container to the bathroom. I’m not completely sure exactly what happened next. I don’t understand physical science whatsoever apparently, because instead of cooling down, the wax got hotter and began to fizz like it was carbonated. If that wasn’t freaky enough, suddenly, a massive hole burst through the drooping blue plastic and shot hot wax across my bathroom like a super-soaker water gun. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.
So I just watched. And laughed out loud at how I always unintentionally manage to make a mess of a situation.
And it was a MESS. If you aren’t very experienced with cosmetic wax, it doesn’t harden like candle wax. It just stays fairly goopy and globulous and sticky and gross. And this goopy, globulous, sticky, gross mess was all over my sink, bathroom cabinet, and floor, and then manage to get tracked onto the tile in the kitchen as well.
So, three days and a half a bottle of Goo-Gone later, I am now sitting on my bathroom floor, glad that my feet no longer stick to the linoleum and glad that life is still funny.